Rocks
Today I had a dentist appointment. He said my teeth look great. I told him that’s the first good news I’ve received from a doctor in months.
For a while It seemed like every doctor’s appointment was just bringing more bad news. First it was, “The lump is suspicious, probably just fibrous tissue but we better remove it.” Then the dreaded call…”sorry, there is some malignancy. ..but it’s a good kind of cancer that rarely travels to the lymph nodes and we can treat it with radiation.” Then the jaw-dropping news…”oh, sorry, you asked for a mastectomy not a lumpectomy, we made a mistake.” And the final clincher, “sorry to have to tell you this after just hearing that we botched your surgery and all, but we also found cancer in a lymph node, so we need to do that mastectomy you originally asked for, plus you’ll need chemo.” Aghhhh…!!!
After that last bit of bad news I was talking to my friend Bean (not her real name, of course) and telling her I felt like Charlie Brown. Charlie Brown’s story is scriptural you know, well sort of. :-) In Matthew 7:9 Jesus says, “Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone?” I said to Bean, “I keep getting bad news. I asked for bread, but like Charlie Brown at Halloween, all I got was a rock.” We laughed and cried together.
I began to feel a serious lack of trust in the Lord. I wondered why I kept getting all these rocks. I couldn’t see any good in it and I began to grow anxious about every appointment for fear of the next rock that would land in my bag. Then I found this amazing scripture, Psalm 112:1,7 which says, “Blessed is the [woman] who fears the Lord…[she]will have no fear of bad news, [her] heart is steadfast, trusting in the Lord.” Can you believe that? I've looked it up several times just to make sure that's what it really says. God sends the right word at the right time.
I still feel some anxiety at times about what may be next, but I don’t need to fear bad news, I just need to trust in God, my true rock and salvation.
Many Blessings,
Janice
PS As I approach this next surgery my prayer request is for no complications, clear lymph nodes, safety for my kids back home, and of course, that the doctor will do the right surgery. :-)
For a while It seemed like every doctor’s appointment was just bringing more bad news. First it was, “The lump is suspicious, probably just fibrous tissue but we better remove it.” Then the dreaded call…”sorry, there is some malignancy. ..but it’s a good kind of cancer that rarely travels to the lymph nodes and we can treat it with radiation.” Then the jaw-dropping news…”oh, sorry, you asked for a mastectomy not a lumpectomy, we made a mistake.” And the final clincher, “sorry to have to tell you this after just hearing that we botched your surgery and all, but we also found cancer in a lymph node, so we need to do that mastectomy you originally asked for, plus you’ll need chemo.” Aghhhh…!!!
After that last bit of bad news I was talking to my friend Bean (not her real name, of course) and telling her I felt like Charlie Brown. Charlie Brown’s story is scriptural you know, well sort of. :-) In Matthew 7:9 Jesus says, “Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone?” I said to Bean, “I keep getting bad news. I asked for bread, but like Charlie Brown at Halloween, all I got was a rock.” We laughed and cried together.
I began to feel a serious lack of trust in the Lord. I wondered why I kept getting all these rocks. I couldn’t see any good in it and I began to grow anxious about every appointment for fear of the next rock that would land in my bag. Then I found this amazing scripture, Psalm 112:1,7 which says, “Blessed is the [woman] who fears the Lord…[she]will have no fear of bad news, [her] heart is steadfast, trusting in the Lord.” Can you believe that? I've looked it up several times just to make sure that's what it really says. God sends the right word at the right time.
I still feel some anxiety at times about what may be next, but I don’t need to fear bad news, I just need to trust in God, my true rock and salvation.
Many Blessings,
Janice
PS As I approach this next surgery my prayer request is for no complications, clear lymph nodes, safety for my kids back home, and of course, that the doctor will do the right surgery. :-)
posted by Janice @ 12:45 PM
5 Comments:
At Fri Jun 23, 08:16:00 AM,
Anonymous said…
Hi Jan,
I have read your blogs a couple of times. A great way to share with lots of folks. Also, I tried to send you a message, and I tnbought I did, but alas my tech-challeneged brain must not have gotten it correct! I am glad that it looks like you are going to keep your teeth, but remember...babiies and alot of grannies do not have their teeth either and they are still cute as heck! :) I know you are leaning heavily on the Lord and HE is ministering to you. I too pray for you when I awake in the nnight..like Linda.PErhaps we should just all get up and got out to Denny's for coffee and conversation when that happens! Have a blessed weekend, my friend! Miss Carla
At Fri Jun 23, 10:03:00 AM,
Anonymous said…
Hello My Dear Friend,
Your heavy on my mind and heart today as you are in Ann Arbor for your pre-op. I pray you will be a blessing to those you come in contact with and that God will use you thru this, therefore blessing YOU!!! :) I'm all for the Denny's trip! We'll have to work on an "I'm awake system" to notify each other.Love you Janice! Lena
At Fri Jun 23, 12:52:00 PM,
Anonymous said…
Jan
My prayers continue to be with you as you as you go through this next stage. Tell the doc to not touch any of those good throwing muscles in your arm--the team needs you, babe!!
love jan y
At Sat Jun 24, 09:39:00 PM,
Anonymous said…
Janice- Your continued faith is an encouragement and example for us all! I continue to pray for your confidence and peace, and for your family. Know that we all care about you.
At Sat Jun 24, 10:41:00 PM,
Kulio said…
Janice,
Hi.
Not to make this about me or anything, but I just wrote a very inspirational, witty comment, complete with scripture reference and spiritual application, to post on your blog, and in the midst of creating my new, online identity (username, password etc) it disappeared.
So can you just, like, take the thought and go with it anyway?
No?
It was like a twist on the whole Rock theme you have goin, with a touch of humor and some deep insights, and at the end, to tie everything back together:
"You're the coolest! ROCK ON!"
Get it? "Rock" - Get it?
No? Nothing?
yeah, I'll try again later.
peace.
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